Dear Kid,

What's the big idea? I show up at Bull Creek boulder with a couple of worn out climbing shoes and a bag half full of chalk, and there you are strutting around with your little kiddy water shoes making those fart noises every time you take a step. It's distracting kid. Take off the darn shoes if you're gonna hang around like that. And just because I look cool, doesn't mean I've got giant suckers at the end of my arm instead of hands. Your telling me to scale the impossible routes on the wall because you saw some girl do it last week only makes me want to take your little fart shoes and shove them in your mouth. Oh, and kid, leave my keys alone. I don't want to have to yell at ya anymore for using my Volkswagen keyless entry device as a pocket knife to scare your little brother, especially when I'm about to solve the most difficult bouldering problem of my life. See ya around kid.

Whatever,

Ryan Vaughn
Austin, TX