Sorry guys, I haven't written in a long time, and instead of spilling my dramatic guts about all of the emotional highs and lows I'm in the middle of, I wish to leave you with these funny thoughts. ( I will post dramatically within the next couple of days here, watch out it's kind of touchy feely.)

McSweeney's List
Cinematic Expressions of Inner Self-Loathing If There Were No Mirrors to Smash.
BY ROSS MURRAY
- - - -
Junkie jazz singer sees self in back of spoon; uses clairvoyant powers to bend it until it snaps in two.

Actress who clawed her way to the top catches reflection in pond; uses nearby backhoe to drain pond.

Woman who married for wealth rather than love looks at photo on driver's license; goes to DMV to ask for new photo.

Politician who has forsaken his grass-roots values discovers potato in shape of own head; mashes it.

Burnt-out rock star looks down at himself during out-of-body experience; refuses to go back in
body "until we start seeing some changes around here, mister."

Aging supermodel has plaster cast made of face; backs over it in SUV.

Alcoholic author looks at reflection in a tumbler of Scotch; drinks Scotch; pours another to see if he looks any better in this one.

Clocks Ranked According to the Ease With Which One Can Tell Time From Them (Easiest to Hardest).
BY ALLIE OESTREICH
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1. Digital
2. Not Digital


Names Gas-Station Attendants Call Me That Leave Me Feeling Both Slightly Superior and Subtly Overwhelmed.
BY ROB ECCLES
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Chief
Boss

(this one's for Zach).