Me: Hi Jay, do you know who this is?

Me: Its been a long time hasn't it?

Me: Yeah, I can't remember when we last talked either.

Me: So dude, you kick ass man. And I just wanted to let you know that I'll be there on Friday.

Me: On Friday, remember? Your playing a concert and I just payed $20 to be there. Remember? Oh you didn't get the email notification. What? You already used your 2590 MB of webmail storage? That's insane!

Me: Okay well, I just wanted to ask you if you might be able to play the best show of your career because well...$20 for me is like a huge investment man.

Me: I know, I know. You always give 110%, but I was wondering if you could juice this one up a little. Like maybe you could say a few words in between songs or something.

Me: Well yeah, but "Thank you" is a little expected don't you think? I mean we all know that your grateful to be up there.

Me: Yeah, that's a good idea too. "How's everybody doing tonight?" does have a nice ring to it. But I was thinking of something more along the lines of "the meaning of life". Or maybe an exegesis on why we must send the capitalist system to the darkest pits of hell.

Me: Yeah, I understand, you've got a family to support.

Me: Wait wait wait.

Me: I have one more thing. Do you think that you and Jeff could do a benefit concert for Katrina victims? I mean, I realize that he tried to steal your girlfriend of seven years and ruined your life. But we've got to pull together right now man.

Me: Jay? Are you there?

Me: Jay!!!!?