Look at that guy. It's all wrong. I mean there's at least one thing wrong with him. I'll prove it to you. He should not have let his hair get like that. Who cuts his hair? Did you see the way he pretended that nothing was wrong with his hair? Yes, some people have weird hair, but he should have stayed with the normal cut, joined the army or something. Do you see the way he tried to make that girl laugh? She almost laughed but then she would not talk with him. He should not have tried to make her laugh.

I've seen a lot of talented folks come by this way. And let me just say that this guy, he does not look like he will make it to their ranks. No, not even close. And he should know that. Someone should inform him that he will not make it. That he should stop pretending to be happy. Do you see how he continues to enjoy failing? Stop failing already. Sit down for a minute. Close your eyes and relax. This guy did not get the memo. It bugs the crap out of me that he does not understand how far he is from the rest of the guys doing what he does. Sure, there are complete failures who realize their mistakes, but they look good as failures, you know. They sulk along the shoulders of the path and fulfill a certain kind of beautiful poverty aesthetic, and they don't bother me so much.

This guy, they only thing I can do is to laugh. I don't ever laugh out loud, but I'm constantly chuckling on the inside of my head. I take consolation in the inevitable, that one day he will get this surprised look on his face and wonder what it was he was smiling about. The moment will flash like a camera bulb and his eyes will adjust to see that every face he thought was smiling was only laughing.

Guys, I'm not abandoning my post here a smoke beats water, just silently peering above the trench line for now. I really appreciate the readership that has accumulated to about 30 hits per day whether or not I post; that's dedication.

So how's about some musical recommendations for now until I get back into the swing of things. Or how's about two really really good musical recommendations? Yeah? Come on. I can't hear you.

All: WE WANT YOUR RECOMMENDATIONS!

Alright. That's better.

Ryan Vaughn - Turn Me Over
Just kidding but come one guys drum me up some business over here.

Okay for real:

Top 2 albums of this month for me:

1. Arcade Fire - Funeral
2. Loretta Lynn - Van Lear Rose

You can listen to some samples at www.waterloorecords.com. Okay so now everybody knows I'm still alive right?

All: RIGHT!!!

Okay then. Carry on.

G sits in the corner everyday. Not because she's shy, just to get a better look at things. This is a problem for me. She is extremely observant, notes every time that I leave the room for a drink, walk into the break room and stare at the bulletin board, or stand next to the bookshelf looking involved in my work. It's nothing personal. She notices that I stare at everyone in the room as well, except for her, looking up from my book every paragraph, especially when it's work related. I would be staring at her too if it weren't for her strategic position, nothing personal, not yet at least. It's entertaining, but she's figured out that it is entertaining as well.

Now I know you're thinking, "Who the hell is G? Greta? Gabriel? Gloria?" G is a dangerous way to go for a girls name. But seriously, G is her name. Just G. Pronounced jeeee. Like it sounds. As in, "What's up G?" I've not figured out what to do about this yet, she doesn't seem to understand that I don't have anything else to do for four hours, and cannot allow for someone to watch me watching other people. I can't have someone aware of my secretive operation. And it wouldn't be as big of a deal to tell G to buzz off, except that she knows what a waste of money my job is sometimes, and has written me notes, detailing my schedule from 8 a.m. to 12 p.m.:

Ryan,

8 a.m.- Nobody in the room yet, check e-mail and blog posts for an hour
9 a.m. - Boss comes in, sit down with book in the middle of a bunch of students needing help with algebra
10 a.m.- Nina arrives, she's older and you can chat with her without looking idle, it looks like you're being trained...or something.
11 a.m. - Help attractive girls with their algebra (you don't know algebra).

Yours,

G

I've swiftly crumpled the note and tossed it in the trash can on the way out this morning, and then glance tiredly at G there in the corner. I'd rather not wait for the elevator, so I take the stairs, six floors worth, and walk through the automatic doors, out of breath. I turn after walking from underneath the shadow of the lawyer-firm-office-turned-ACC-headquarters and see her smiling there just underneath a window washer at the 7th floor. He has no shirt on and dangles in the reflection from the glass in a sling. I wave. At the window washer.